Lost! – (Coldplay)
It was going to be dark soon…and somewhere down at the bottom my parents could hear the sounds of the voices and static over the patrol radios…the back and forth transmissions, going over last seen scenarios and descriptions of me and my brother…The mountain had now officially been shutdown …but somewhere up in the middle of the snow covered trees, the only sound I could hear was the sound of panic in my head as I was nearly chest deep in powder snow. I could no longer hear the arguments and blame between my brother and I, everything just sounded different and deep down I just knew it was all my fault…and I just wanted it to be over. My dad just told me for the first time a few weeks ago what the last transmission was over those radios and now I will never forget it…
This story reminds me of another memory of when I was really little of me and my mom talking in our laundry room and I cannot remember why but I know I was really upset (I had probably disobeyed her and she took my toys away or something like that)…but I remember I was getting more upset by the way she was responding to me, or in this case it seemed like she wasn’t really responding to me at all the way that I wanted her to! I remember she was ironing and folding all of my family’s clothes (it’s amazing all the things that my mother has done for my family, a mother who never stops loving always helps hold a good family together no matter what happens). But I wanted her to know I was upset! So I said, “Mom! Listen to me, I am running away today!” And just very nonchalantly as she continues to fold she says, “Oh really? Well, will I ever see you again? Where will you live? What will you eat?” And I said, “No mom you will never see me again, I will live out in our woods behind the house and probably eat squirrels.” (Ha I really remember saying that…) Then she said, “Well we will miss you very much…” and then went right back to ironing clothes and it made me so upset! I wanted her to tell me not to go!! So I packed a little tiny bag and she walked me to our back door and let me out and I walked towards the woods behind our house, trying hard not to turn around as she was waving in the window behind me…well…I think it took maybe 20 to 30 minutes and I was back knocking on the door…and my mom opens the door for me and I said, “Can I come home now?” I wanted to be found…Can’t tell you how many times I have walked out the back door on God…but every time I ask if I can come home He has always let me back in…with amazing grace.
That day up there on the mountain I was thinking the same thing…Growing up my family was blessed to be able to take a family vacation every year and it was usually around spring break to make things easier. Our trip was to always go to Colorado, so for years I learned how to become an excellent snow skier or at least I thought I knew everything. On this day I remember it was our last ride down the mountain and my mom, dad, and sister were way ahead of me and my brother. We were trying to make it last and hit any last trails and fin any jumps to end the day. We got to this fork in the mountain where we could go left to go down a “blue” slope or right to go down the “black” slope. I knew the rest of my family had gone left but we were used to skiing the difficult runs. I also knew my brother was getting ready to call it a day and wanted to go left but I just kept telling him I wanted us to go right so I finally talk him into it and we started out…We didn’t realize how difficult this run was going to be (to this day I still think it should have been a two black diamond run) and how exhausted we were from our full day of skiing. We were just getting beat in every way, there were times we would just lay down and rest and the slope was very steep…so I came up with the idea that maybe if we just cut through the ski area boundary lines in the trees to the left then surely we would run into the easier slope that my family had taken. My brother didn’t like the idea but I just kept on trying to convince him and finally I did! Had no idea how bad of idea that was…you see I thought it would be an easy straight shot across to the other side where everything would be better but I was wrong. The further we went the more I knew we becoming lost. Then we hit the deep powder…every time we tried to take another step forward through the nearly chest high powder snow we would sink even further…losing skis, ditching our ski poles, it felt like we were losing the fight…we felt lost…and that’s when I could no longer hear the sounds of our arguing, I felt like I couldn’t move any further and it just got quiet…
I emailed my dad to ask him his memories of that day and he said the patrol radio chatter finally starting picking up and that they could hear our voices in the woods…I guess what I thought had turned to silent panic was actually a very loud cry for help. Patrol said they went down the run to find our tracks leading into the woods, they tracked us from both sides and eventually we were in sight…I could see them, I could see their red jackets with the white cross in the center and I could see their snow mobiles…and the last transmission was “the lost have been found!”
Right now you may feel stuck on the dark side of a mountain..maybe your mountain even has a name…and you just want to be found. What do you when you sit and start to have thoughts that it’s too late to change? That it’s too late for anyone to want to help me? That it’s too late be to rescued? Too late to be loved by anyone…even yourself…are you really lost?
“Just because I’m losing, doesn’t mean I’m lost, doesn’t mean I’ll stop, doesn’t mean I would cross. Just because I’m hurting, doesn’t mean I’m hurt, doesn’t mean I didn’t get what I deserved, no better and no worse…I just got lost. Every river that I tried to cross, every door I ever tried was locked ohhh and I’m…just waiting ’til the shine wears off…
Coldplay are a British rock band formed in 1996 led by lead vocalist and pianist Chris Martin. The band has sold over 80 million records worldwide making them one of the world’s best-selling music artists. Born in Whitestone, Devon, England, Martin is the eldest of five children. (Interesting fact: His great-great grandfather was the man who helped daylight savings time become a recognized practice.) In an interview about religion Martin has claimed to believe in everything and says, “I definitely believe in God…How can you look at anything and not be overwhelmed by the miraculousness of it?” A writer for Entertainment Weekly described the lyrics as “a lament about spiritual bereftness” but when Martin was asked about the song he replied, “OK, that’s how we kinda feel sometimes…lost…and we just know we can improve.”
1 Corinthians 13:7 | Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
“JUST BECAUSE I’M LOSING…DOESN’T MEAN I’M LOST”
Have to repeat that lyric line, it’s one of my favorite set of words I have heard in a song…because they are very real to me. A friend of mine just reached out to me in the past week with his struggles that were similar to mine and just like this song says I told him hey man the only thing you did was make a mistake, we all make them, certainly doesn’t mean you’re lost man…but it’s easy to think we are and it’s easy to talk ourselves into these situations. And how many times have we let other people talk us into situations, into things we know we can get lost in…I had talked my brother into it up on that mountainside and he followed me because he thought I may have the right idea but I didn’t. Bottom line…we all make the mistakes and they are all seen the exact same way. Now I don’t have any children so I can’t even imagine the feeling my parents went through on that day…but I want you to think about how they felt…and maybe if you have kids think about how you would feel…and now I want you to imagine how God feels when one of his children feels like they are lost… Like the verse says above, “Love never gives up…” and if God is love, the one who gave us true love, how could He ever give up on us? My parents had a love that day that never gave up on me…Talking to God may not be something you are used, may sound strange, I mean honestly it has been for me over my life at times, but in times like this when I really struggle I don’t have these elaborate out loud prayers and there is nothing wrong with the way anyone talks to God, my point is that when I personally feel broken or feel like I’m losing, man I just sit in silence for awhile and usually just say very few words at a time like “Lord I need your help…need some guidance right now…” I like to sit there and start to think of everything in my life that I am thankful for and how I can give that thanks back to God.
I learned that day that the “ski area boundary” signs are put there for a reason. I always saw them and thought oh thats ridiculous I know I am good enough to ski through anything…but they are put there to help us, for our safety, to let us know that there is another way…well God wants to help us in our life, he wants to make things safe but there are boundaries we need to be aware of and they are around us everyday. I don’t know why I crossed so many in my life but I did…I called out for help though and He answered. I didn’t think my voice could be heard just like that day on the mountain. And sometimes God calls on you…sometimes He walks you around a dark mountain…kind of like those radios, He’s calling out, but you control the squelch, the volume, the static. Turn it off or way down low, but He won’t stop. Can you hear it sometimes?? I’ll end it by saying everyone, including myself constantly, we all lose focus at times…it’s simply part of being human. In an ever changing world sometimes we just need some love from someone to help show us, to guide us the way home. We need someone to get us down safely from the darks side of our mountains…We need that. We need that amazing grace: For once I was lost but now I am found…and I have found = LOVE. Nothing is impossible…
(Listen below to Lost! by Coldplay)
(Feature post photo by Geoffrey Arduini)
If you are just joining Ten Days In Love and missed any previous posts click the links below: